It's ironic for me to call this series "MTB Dating Diaries" because as you can see from Part 1 and Part 2, I've not actually had a real date-date. I've been bailed on, lied to, confused and enticed in by work affairs, that I've not really ever been on a real "first date" before. Ever.
MTB Women are hoe bags
It goes without saying that there are far fewer women in mountain biking than men.
To draw upon the current social stigma associated with men vs. women and dating, women come off far worse for wear. A girl who sleeps with 100 people will be viewed far more negatively than a man who sleeps with the same number.
In MTB, women certainly have a disadvantage when it comes to dating, and with the MTB community being so small and cliquey, every fucker knows your business. We all hear gossip and rumours about who is seeing who, who's been with who and from all the crap I've heard, it's rarely the men who get the bad rep for it.
For those of us who just want to meet a nice rider guy, we look within the MTB pool of potentials. Yet, if one relationship doesn't work out, you return to the same pool and try again. But, because that pool has such a skewed ratio of men: women, if a woman then goes out with another rider, and another, the woman begins to build up a rap sheet because there are so few of us, which sucks because we're not sleeping around, we're just doing what many of us do when single - looking for, dare I say it, love.
While I've heard MTB dating rumours, I personally, don't care who's doing who. The reason I've decided to write about this particular aspect is that more than one of my male friends have said it's something they themselves have considered when dating an MTB woman. "Who's she been with that I know?" - "How many has she been with in this scene?" etc... But, don't we all wonder that at some point?
If you ask a guy out - you're too keen
If you say you're excited to meet a guy - you're desperate
If you say you miss him - you're needy
If you don't want to send nudes - you're boring/prude
If they're ill and you show sympathy - you're gay
If they've not messaged you back for ages and you check in to see if they're ok - you're clingy
If you tag them in a social media post - you're going too fast
Fuck me for having normal human emotion. Just because I wanna hang out with you or I show an interest in you, DOESN'T mean I want to marry you, have your babies and lock you down as my own personal possession.
MTB Dating Diaries: Part Three
As you may have read in part 1 and part 2, I've not been all that lucky when it comes to meeting nice guys and going on actual dates. My faith is being well and truly tested and subsequently, dwindling...
*To protect the identity of these persons, I've omitted their names and I won't name them so please don't ask me*
Ok, so this next bit is about another MTBer. I can't really say what it was exactly, but he piqued my interest. He made me laugh and there was something about him which left an impression. Ok ok, I saw him topless and Goddayum.
Social media conversation ensued and it was a long slog of analysing responses to see if there was anything to pursue; if he liked me and if I could be bothered. Until he broached the subject of buying me a drink. Ok, I thought, why not? His emotionless and infrequent messages were hard to decipher but a date was on the cards nonetheless.
A few days prior to this date, his entire demeanour did a one-eighty. Messages got cocky, sexual and it didn't even sound like him. I'm pretty sure he thought sex was a sure thing, until I foiled his plan to sleepover (basically, I said no) and he cancelled the date with a half-arsed excuse. Charming.
This sucked because after however many weeks of regular messaging, to have been blown off at the last minute... hurts like a motherfucker.
The Flake Returns!
So remember The Flake from part two and how he dropped off the face of the earth?
Well, I stopped giving a fuck after his weird and aloof behaviour until out-of-the-blue he sends me a message about something I had posted on social media, where he followed up the message by apologising for "going quiet" on me. He said he wanted to make it up to me... hrm, ok.
I reminded him that it wasn't cool to treat people the way he had and he was a dick. I showed mercy and a pleasant conversation ensued... until he asked if I wanted a nude photo of him - I said no.
And then maybe 24 hrs later... he goes quiet again. Pfft, what the fuck is up with people?
Of course, there have been other men who have wormed their way into my inbox and as I always say, first impressions count... yet, if you fuck it up, I'm pretty lenient with second impressions - I know I don't always make the best first impression of myself, that's for sure!
However, send me an unsolicited dick-pic, and no. Send me "Hi, Can I take you on a date?", and no. Ask me for a job, no. Ask me for some free kit, no. If we're total strangers, talk to me about stuff, give a conversation a chance and go from there. Don't send me a photo of your half naked body and be like "fancy this?" - what the shit.
My other pieces of advice would include; Not having a girlfriend that you're "in the middle of breaking up with" - Not asking me for nudes - Not being arrogant or cocky about how you could so easily pull me - Not to try and get a rise out of me through jealousy over women, because grow the fuck up.
As my confidence and faith levels dwindle somewhat, I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on things. Is it really so hard to find a nice guy who wants to go on bike adventures and watch cartoons in their underwear with me?
MTB Dating Diaries: Chapter1, Part 1